Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
