You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
