Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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