Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
