In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
