What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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