just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
