so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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