Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
