Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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