I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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