So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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