Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
