Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
