I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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