***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
