did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
