So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
