Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
