pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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