I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
porn star boner night. come get it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
