She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize