so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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