There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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