You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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