We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
