When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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