i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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