I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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