how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
