i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
