Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
