so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
