We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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