2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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