she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
