he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
