Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
