He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
