oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
