So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
