can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
