Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
