Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
