When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
