I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Damn victory sex feels great
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
