her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
