It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
