Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize