he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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