I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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