The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
