My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize