so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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