So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
