we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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