I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
