she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
