Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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