sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
