The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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