I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize