D3 body, D1 cock
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
